I had to blog because this is mightily scary.

I'm online and boom, I see Clara Woon and my first thought is YAY. (Which should already raise loud alarm bells in my head because how come she's the first person I think to look for when I'm online? Am I, you know, straight?)

So I ask "Clara?" because she has her status on busy and then she replies that she was thinking of messaging me when my message popped up.

So then she lets her sister use the computer and after a while, I go, "Are you back?" to which to replies "This is freaky because I wanted to tell you at that moment your message popped up boo I'm back" (Maybe not in so many words but you get the idea)

This is mental telepathy I call it. Or else really freaky. It's really quite pitiful that I feel quite lost without Clara. What am I even saying. Am not in love with Clara. Am in love with hot men.(even though her name has been appearing lots of times in my blog and I love how she's a great shepherd to me where our convos take us beyond that of football and into our lives)

Nat is coming back next Thursday from UK, she brought forward the date! My dear old Nim Garden friend that I lost touch with but hahahahaha hooray have been reunited with ever since J1. Bearing good gifts of Chelsea stuff but she's the gift too haha. Happy happy.

Hwee supports Germany but she doesn't know who Lahm is (he who scored the first goal of the World Cup). Okay -faints!- She calls me the football goddess! YAY But she's in love with Ballack so she's forgiven. I forgive you. I like him because of his swagger, the way he walks, the way he seems to just own the field. Okay but I love the German team because they play really really greay football. My sis supports them (and not like me who supported England, Holland, Czech, Ukraine ha) because she liked Kahn and Neuville and now Kahn isn't even first choice so she's sulking like him. (Now she likes Ballack too) Whee.

Talking about Kaka's puppy dog eyes and cute expression and apparently he only does that to his wife, Carol. So Clara says,

wonkerdoodle:: says: if CAROL minuses the O and adds another A it'll be my name!wonkerdoodle:: says: and anyway
wonkerdoodle:: says: most ppl pronounce my name CRAAAROO
wonkerdoodle:: says: sounds like carol
wonkerdoodle:: says: hur hur
wonkerdoodle:: says: ok i'm being mad.

Am dealing with many irritating things. And maybe it's the people around me who make me feel safe that's keeping me grounded because suddenly stuff happens to shake my peaceful little world. I felt so proud of myself when I made that decision but now I question.




Just when you thought it was all over, Just when you thought you were going to let go, Just when you thought it wasn't worth the waiting, Just when you thought the tears would stop coming.

You somehow wish that it didn't happen but it has.
You're the one that's wishing for a new beginning but it seems life is full of irony.

Because there's promises being made, hopes being raised. But perhaps it'll only boil down to nothing and you've be left saying it's all been expected-the usual fare. The greetings, the smiles, the sharing, are these going to be empty and blank? It's nothing more than that. How long, Christine, how long.

Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated. Words and actions, they verbalize that. It's true, you have to show you care.

I was looking through last year's Christmas cards from my cell group (eh how come Eugenia never give me a card huh huh) and many wrote how I was a blessing to them with my joy, cheer and enthusisam. Friendliness, openess... (their words, not mine) and it just struck me that I've found that balance. The balance between the moodiness due to the fact that we have school so therefore me is grouchy because I didn't really enjoy Secondary school except for the time spent with the mango tree gang, my friends and perhaps Guides. Weirdly enough, I enjoyed JC. I didn't like the distance but I enjoyed the learning because I was doing what I wanted, and though I struggled with certain subjects I really think I enjoyed them and I know I matured spiritually and emotionally. Perhaps the cheerfulness started then and with God in my life, being truly part of my life, how could I remain unhappy and depressed for long?

Honestly, I'm trying to say that yes, I used to go around being moody, pessimistic, a part of me still remains as such. Yet now I can't see myself wallowing for periods on end, (unless my friends ignore me or I'm at a spiritual low). So yeah, that balance. I think everyone has that as well because you get tired and can't always wear a smile on your face all the time. So don't expect me to smile all the time either.

I can't see how I'm a blessing to the people around me, or possess those qualities you've said I have. But others often see what we fail to... so thank you for the compliments. YOU'VE been the blessings in my life. Thank you for the cards, the notes, the SMS-es. Call me sentimental but it's great to know that I make a difference to your lives. (Cliched as it may sound)

--

Moving on, Spain 1-3 France. OMG. Secretly, (now not so secret) while I support Kaka , I don't support Brasil. Because well, I want Germany, or England, or haha even Ukraine to win. So I was hoping that Spain would win to knock out Brasil before England meet them because I doubt the England squad can beat them and I'm not sure France can do it because they have a very matured (ie old) team. It's sad but England's been scrapping out victories which while admirably, fail to live up to the hype that the media's built them up to be. (Understandably Ukraine may have been erking out victories too but much less is expected of them)

I wanna have smoked salmon. A salad, pasta, bread, anything with it. A nice white. Pralines? And yes still not getting any waffles. Sigh. A deprived Christine is not a happy child. I blame Eugenia for my waffle hang up because if it wasn't for her I won't be craving for such stuff. Maybe I'll be lucky and my piano will be on Sunday so I can go to Island Creamery with Clara on Friday. Yay going out with YY and Sonya tomorrow for good food and even greater company. I'm about to be regaled with tales of a great holiday trip to the States.

Honestly, someone take me away to Europe so I can lay down in fields with fresh wildflowers (I know it can be done in like Aussie as well). So many of my friends have gone to Europe this year. While reminds me I need a good looking sweetie with me(ie hot hot guy) so that my photos there will at least warrant an audience (haha here again my sis points out who am I to want a good looking guy because I'm not that pretty-I know!) Which also reminds me that Kaka in black and white is droolworthy. And so is Terry and Lamps standing together on that bridge--ish so sweet.

My friends are all whacked- but if having whacked friends means more people watching the beautiful game I'm all for it. Perhaps this means an interest in EPL or Seria A (yes that means Kaka) when the new season starts again? I'm hopeful. Those who love Sheva and Ballack can turn their attention to supporting Chelsea. Haha.

Switzerland VS Ukraine was a rather boring match with no goals being scored and the penalty shoot-out being the deciding factor in determining who went throught to the quarters. I cannot believe Sheva missed! Or rather the goalkeeper caught it. I was like 'jaw drop' and that was the only time during the entire match that I made any noise because I was afraid of waking the family at 3 plus. (Dad came out to watch during the extra time) So it was 3-0 to Ukraine on penalties. Amazing I tell you. How could the Swiss miss? I'm happy for Sheva but I don't know if they can beat Italy.

England made it through too because of a free kick by Beckham. I really want Lampard to start performing at club level. I believe he can do it! At least Terry was named Man of the Match.

The Holland-Portugal match sure was something with 4 Red Cards and 16 Yellows. Maniche Maniche... scoring so well on the international stage but at club level... Heart pain for Robben and the Dutch but at least they weren't part of the 4 that got red-carded. I would be a Portugal supporter, but that's going to come later at other World Cups because haha, I'm waiting for Jose Mourinho to take over as coach. Portugal will meet England in the quarters. Oh well there's still England and Germany and Ukraine.

I know that was all football but that's the main thing plus my stupid piano exam that's on my mind. I shall go watch my Chelsea DVD to watch the Champions League Chelsea-Bayern Munich 04/05 match because I want to watch them play against Ballack. Yes I'm sorry but he's another new love. I can't understand why Clara hasn't fallen in love with him. You can love many many footballers you know.

That sounded a bit wrong. But forgive me, I've been indulging in various football fantasies (which other than being married to one of them and living like the WAGs and having beautiful children and not working- is the promise of 5! ( 4 + Community Shield) trophies for the next season to adorn Chelsea's cupboard of silverware) Hey this is my fantasy okay so I can dream.

'Unforgettable. But no one can say unrepeatable'.
-Jose Mourinho on winning the Treble with Porto

Chelsea didn't really buy their title you know. After all, you can buy a good player but if you can't manage him well then it's useless. Joe Cole matured under the man. The players who were in the title winning squad weren't super stars. We may or may not retain the title but what matters is that Mourinho nurtured the spirit of a winning mentality and of being a team.

Sometimes life shouldn't be taken so seriously, sometimes things are just meant to be for fun. But I still say don't lead me on. Excuses of unintentional actions don't really hold when you're dealing with the emotional.

I've been taken outta context!

TalkBack in ST 25/06/06

"But there are a few readers who agree with Mr Teo. Like Miss Christine Ong, who sympathised with his feelings about women who keep screaming at a football match. She wrote:" I can understand the frustration some men must feel when women scream non-stop."

First of all, I only agree with some of his views and not ALL of them which at first glance seems to be what my stand is when my whole letter to STOMP provides a balance view-read previous posts for whole letter (I mean plainly; look at the Kaka fans flooding my tagboard and you know what I mean - friends! Watch the game for the skills as well haha).

Second of all, you can see from the second part that it's that particular point that I'm agreeing with -ie the screaming.

Thirdly, I am not being hypocritical by criticizing women who scream non-stop and yet do so sometimes. Because I scream for at the most 10 out of the 90 minutes, at wasted chances, goals and yes beautiful men ha. That doesn't put me into the category of non-stop. I would say more than 45 minutes would qualify.

Lastly, I would like to say that I fell in love with Chelsea because of the charismatic managers (Ranieri and Mourinho) especially Mourinho who set the football world on fire with his witty remarks. And the fantastic players like Zola, Desailly, and the current title winning squad.

Thank You and have a good day.

Germany, you CAN beat Argentina.

My piano is still not going well especially the Aural and my sight reading and then when you're tensed and not relaxing everything just goes not your way. I think I need to practice harder and I feel like going AWERIOEVTFKLVNL because this week I had piano twice and so that's the plan for next week as well with one day dedicated to Aural which is argh-ing to me. I just suck at it. You tell me how I'm supposed to relax when I have less than a month!

Following that, I am happy because when you search Amazon.co.uk with the key words Jose Mourinho,

Mourinho: The Special One ~Bruno Oliveira
The Special One: The Wit and Wisdom of Jose Mourinho ~John Amhurst
Jose Mourinho: Made in Portugal - the Authorised Biography ~Luis Lourenco
Mourinho: Anatomy Of A Winner ~Patrick Barclay
Mourinho, the True Story: The Book Jose Mourinho Tried to Ban ~Joel Neto
The Little Book of Jose Mourinho ~Clive Batty
All the Way Jose ~Harry Harris

I have the ones in purple, the one in BOLD is not yet published but hooray! Another Jose Mourinho book. And the one Anatomy of a Winner is going to be out in soft cover which means cheap cheap! Though I still prefer getting hard cover cos books like that are meant for keeps. Ha.

CLUB21 sales begin! Bring on the Armani I say. Oh and Sheva is modelling for Giorgio Armani while Kaka is doing his bit for Emporio Armani while I can only afford Armani Exchange. Ha. And even then the prices are still a bit steep. Nevermind, since it's Club21 still got CK, DKNY, D&G... Ha! I wish I was invited to have the Club21 card. By invitation only... so anyway while reading highlights and urging Germany to score a third, I'm armani-ing by perusing the websites. Ballack you go score a goal. This is the knockouts already (Round of 16)

I want to take the Adidas ad home with me. You know the one where all the footballers pose and the Little kid (Jose) is standing in front of them with his back facing us. And I saw nice nice Adidas shirts that I want. And I need money ding dong. I have said my goodbyes to the ACER FERRARI and the SAMSUNG Q30 PLUS. They're so pretty and red and pretty and pretty (even the Vaio) but they cost around 4k. And it's not like the functions differ that much. Basically I should be getting a laptop that has Centrino Duo and Superior Graphics with a Graphic Card but I actually don't need Centrino Duo or Superior Graphics. Acer Travel Mate 3282 I think.

I shouldn't have to ask for air kisses. (Clara are you getting this? Ha!) (Oh and anyone who wants to give me one- I think it's cute to go -kissy kissy *insert name* no it is not bimbotic but even if it is who says I can't be bimbotic sometimes) Sharon is making me hungry with her photos of good food on her blog. Quite random I know.

I was just thinking of putting a picture of Michael Ballack here but then thought that some people who don't really think he's THAT good looking might say something so I give you: TADA!

The wonderful pairing of Kaka and Sheva together at ACMilan. IN terms of football pairing not the ahem kind. Ha. Sheva and Ballack- Chelsea players for the next season. (Clara I did not do that on purpose)





Let's see here, I've spent most of my days tinkering (or hammering) away at the piano and trying to sight read and singing to myself while looking at a book to practice for aural (of which I found out I'm quite doomed for one part where you have to identify the 4 chords eg. Ic-iib-V-I so it isn't as easy as you think!) I found myself trying not to make plans for every day of the week because I realised I need to say 'yes' to my piano teacher in regards to whatever time and day she wants for that week. (Robot like, no?)

So anyway I think I'll not be going for Law Orientation because I can't take a 5 day break! Honestly! No touche the piano for the minimum of an hour = slit throat. Anyway it's only one more month, just try my best.

Haha even without SCV I'm getting by the World Cup by watching the games on the Preview channel (4 only though) and some on RTM1, the Malaysian channel. Of course that also means the quality isn't as good for RTM. I was blown away by the Germany-Ecuador match! You know I'm more a supporter of Holland and England and Germany (cos of Ballack) but let me tell you that I really want to see Germany in the finals. Their passes, the teamwork, the tempo at which they played the game! My poor Petr Cech, the Czech Republic is out. Hope Ukraine make it through the group stages.

The 06/07 EPL fixture list is out. Looks like Chelsea's gonna be playing against Man City (Home) as their first match and they'll be meeting Liverpool (like why AGAIN) to play for the Community Shield (Winners of Premier League VS Winners of FA Cup)

I've been listening to my CDs again and if you didn't know, I'm a huge fan of A1 and Westlife. Yeah I like pop music, I like listening to ballads. There's such an innocence and a sweetness to their voice quality. I guess I'm a romantic ha (probably easily swayed by honeyed words and sweet smiles) And IL Divo's Time of our Lives made me tear a little, opera and Classical are great. I actually don't mind techno because there's always a steady beat and you kind of zone out listening to the beat, you know like dance music. I like listening to rock, even heavy metal but no rap for me. That's the only kind of music I don't understand (but some do so far be it for me to say anything)

Finally, because I'm tired and I don't really think my post made much sense since it was a jumble of thoughts, I want waffles and where are you Clara Woon I haven't seen you online in a while (I need to make Ballack register on your radar! ) and Eugenia is like looking for you!

See? *points to tagboard* I told you people would start going around and claiming footballers as their love, husband, baby, whatever. Okay everyone listen here. Touch not my Chelsea footballers and Kaka. Why Kaka? Because he belongs to Clara. Okay haha I'm kidding. Actually he belongs to anyone who isn't a jumpstart (which means you have to have liked him before the World Cup). And Jesus and his wife. Haha.

Anyway there was this article about women liking football only because of good looking players. At first I was insulted because he failed to mention those who truly understand and follow the beautiful game to the point of obsession and that those good looking men are simply additional benefits to the game. Then I realised that those true fanatics are quite the rarity because it's true! Most women enjoy the good looks of the players therefore saying they like the game. I say it makes the game all the more interesting to watch. But I appreciate the wonderful skills involved. So don't you dare belittle me and tell me that I'm not a true fan. Hmph.

<edit>
In response to Cheng Wee's article "Spare us guys your shrieks".On behalf of my gender and those women who sincerely love the beautiful game, my initial response was to give a snarl. The word is initial. After some thought, I conclude that Cheng Wee wasn't as far of the mark as I previously thought.

I am a huge Chelsea fan of about 6 years and I count myself among the True Blues who have supported the club even before the Roman Revolution. My interest was piqued because of the great Manchester-Liverpool craze and in order to be different, picked a team with a name that sounded nice. Sounds very girly right? Yet now I follow the game to a point of obsession, where the failure to get cable installed has driven me to read highlights and minute updates as the game progresses on BBC. And yes, I do play the game and it isn't limited to Winning 11.

I think it's natural for women to take a liking to the game because of good looking men. I understand the frustration some men must feel when women scream non-stop everytime the camera is focused on their favourite player. I admit I scream too. However, I do it sparingly. I think that there ARE women out there who truly understand football, who love it not just because there are good looking men but because the skills involve are nothing short of incredible miracles. Did you see the way John Terry cleared the ball during the England-Trinidad & Tobago match, the brillance of Argentina as they stroked in goal after goal against Serbia & Montenegro?

Especially during World Cup do we see jumpstarts, those who profess to be real fans (and know only one player of that particular team they support), supporting Portugal because of pretty boy Cristiano Ronaldo or Kaka of Brasil because he scored first for them and happens to look fantastic. It's becoming quite a joke when they ask me which team Kaka plays for and I say "Juventus" and they actually believe it.

However, I still say "Spare us REAL female fans" because in this new generation, there are many who follow the game closely and not just during World Cup, play the sport itself and CAN enjoy the beautiful game for all that it truly represents (and at the same time know footballers from movie stars). Yet guys can take heart that the fuss (from those who aren't actually real fans) will probably fade away once the World Cup is over.

Christine Ong

YAY... I've been published! Ha, even if it's only in STOMP, the straits times interactive thingy. www.stomp.com.sg actually when you read the letters sent in by the rest... mine seems to pale in comparison and in fact I would even say has a bit of a balanced view.

Which reminds me-- Yay SHEVA. Ukraine aren't totally out of the World Cup just yet! 4-0. Can't wait for the knockouts. Apparently Samsul the Singapore referee is doing us proud by being asked to referee his Third World Cup game! Hopefully he'll get to referee the knockouts as well! Actually even though the World Cup is providing me enough to get by for football, I'm still suffering from Chelsea withdrawal (and yes good looking Chelsea players and manager ha).

Eugenia has put NERD photos of me on her blog. I shall skulk around with my camera to capture her moments of nerdiness as well- like when she's eating or sleeping. How dare she! Everytime I think of her I think of my waffles. It's not meant to be honestly. Argh.

I want to go real calm-like. Almost to the point of zoning out. I cannot believe some people have never thought of dancing in fields, sitting on chairs near beautiful scenery feeling the breeze and just being generally happy. I think I'm being generally happy now. (Though marred by the thought of piano tomorrow)

I only have to think of you and smile. =)

Ricardo Izecson Dos Santos Leite, better known as Kaka, is now making lots and lots of news because he's the one who scored in Brasil's first match AND because he's such a hottie AND now that he's so well known as compared to before during the 02 World Cup, Clara is annoyed since she has first dibs on him before almost everyone else. Lucky thing he was known to me BEFORE the World Cup started or else she'll scold me for being a jumpstart and if you ask me how I knew about him I tell you who doesn't know the marvellous incredible partnership between Shevchenko and Kaka in ACMilan? (Not to mention that he models for Armani and you know my fascination with all things Armani- which also begs the question I always ask-why doesn't Mourinho model for them huh huh- he who wears their suits like a second skin?)

But yes, ACMilan is my Italian team. And Chelsea is still my Number 1.

I shall tell you more about Kaka. Yes he's a gorgeous gorgeous piece of eye candy but he's also a very very sweet guy who places his priorities on God, Family and Friends. Which to a fan like me caused me to message Clara and say 'We have things in common!' to which she called me a 'mad girl' because those priorities in that order AREN'T as uncommon as I think them to be. If so, then where is my God fearing God loving sweetie who should bear some resemblance to some hotties that I like love? (My sis would add somewhere that who am I to ask since I am like so not pretty boo to her) Kaka's a Christian yes yes, who's sweet to his wife AND his fans. Unfortunately, as can be seen by the wife thing, he is married.

I'm gushing right right?

If Esta likes to da bao little children home because they're oh so cute and cream puff like, and Bryan likes to eat little children (to each his own), I think I should be allowed to da bao or eat stuff too. Only I'll stick to grown men thanks, because I think they look so gorgeous that I wanna eat them up, either that or keep them in glass boxes to stare at 24/7. (Remove the dots look from your faces!) So...

Lovely lovely Chelsea players and Armani wearing men who look good. Ha. I would post a picture of Kaka here but honestly I know I'm not worthy to be considered a fanatical Kaka fan, 2 years ago he was to me just eye candy (until the ultimate fan also known as Clara enlightened me on his Christianity and everything that made me love him more) BUT I REMAIN A FANATICAL TRUE BLUE CHELSEA FAN of a coming 6 years!!!!!

ALL TOGETHER NOW.

BLUE IS THE COLOUR FOOTBALL IS OUR GAME
WE'RE ALL TOGETHER AND WINNING IS OUR AIM
SO CHEER US ON THROUGH THE SUN AND RAIN
COS CHELSEA, CHELSEA IS OUR NAME.

Yes I'm high but what do you expect. It's Chelsea and good looking men so I'm not surprised that I'm high.

Have you seen those keyrings of soccer balls that instead of the black patches they have flags of different countries? I know Converse has them but it's like only one country and I don't know if they just sell it like that when it's not attached to a bag or pencilcase so if anyone knows let me know!

To take the time to experience the Lord in quiet moments. The 'magic' isn't just in the big kabooms but the small things that may seem so insignificant that they just pass us by without us noticing until poof, it clicks. To hear the Lord and be still.

The church camp for me was an awesome experience. I really felt that my friendships with the people I've come to love have grown and the Lord being the most important. I know I WILL outreach more. My Christian conduct isn't perfect though I'm trying to weed out the flaws but hey, no one's perfect save for God.

I really enjoyed getting to know the people in my cell more, Eugenia Clara Esta Weijin Kathleen Teh, even people not in my cell Jenna Andrew Bryan.

(And we found a burger that's better than Ramly! It's called Charlie, now Ramly has so much less kick. Ha)

And I went para-sailing! I felt like a bird. Certainly an experience though after a while of being up in the air I actually inspected my nails. Dots. A bit no kick after the initial rush but I won't mind doing it again! And then Eugenia and Clara threw me into the sea, if Bryan hadn't helped I would have gotten away and I'm so not strong because the current just swept me and I ended up swirling around in the sand while trying to claw my way back to shore.

Spent the most time with Eugenia Clara Esta Andrew Bryan (bunked with Kat and Weijin). To sum it up, Eugenia ate alot, poor Lala had food poisoning (which I'm sure she doesnt want to remember), Esta was on constant high, Andrew was... not multi tasking but good at cards and Bryan was trying to find out more things about Eugenia to ruin her reputation ?(what rep?) See, I made more friends.

On the late night we played games until 3! Match started then. Went nuts over 97, Heart Attack and some drawing game. Esta still has the papers as proof of our lack of artistic talent.

I came home to an early piano exam date 20/7 (Rawr), a rejection letter from PSC (kinda expected) and an offer from NUS Law (Yayness). I wasn't that excited about law to tell you the truth because it was dampened much by that stupid piano exam date which I am so not prepared for which calls for 2-3 hours of practice from now on bleah. But then! The excitement that other people had over that great offer suddenly made everything sink in and poof! YAY YAY YAY. Instant lift! I really think it's God's answer to my confusion over where to go because I asked that if I would get in after being put on the waiting list, that's where I'm meant to go. A bit sad over giving up my pol.science but there's always still the interest over reading history! As for PSC, I'm sad but well it's not the end of the world. Cos I got Law! Happy happy. (But now must study hard I forgot how to study after 6 months)

Going to Penang also allowed me to watch not only the opening Germany-Costa Rica match with Jenna Teh Kat (fun!-Philip Lahm is quite the cutie and so is Raul from Spain but I already knew that) as well as the Argentina-Ivory Coast one which pitted the 2 Chelsea strikers against each other. Both scored. England won rather unconvincingly I think, they could have done better. Holland won Serbia & Montenegro with Robben scoring the only goal. I think I'm weird because while I mainly support Holland and England, I tend to support whatever side has a certain Chelsea player I like.

Someone bring me with them for a holiday. But I think can only go in like ugh December because of the piano exam. Or maybe can go for a short trip before I have all those weird health checkups and matriculation and the thing call school starting.

Suddenly I don't feel like talking to anyone. All I want is to meet up with some people that I haven't seen in ages and sit with them at some streetside cafe and eat and people watch (in my words guy watch) and yes, bask in their presence.

I shall be leaving for Penang for the church camp. Until the 11. I hope I won't be expected to talk much because frankly I really feel rather un-talkative lately. I do hope though, to really spend some quality time with my church friends and just soak in the presence of ... good company and knowing the Lord.

I feel relieved that my interview is over, don't want to talk about it because I know I really screwed it up so much that I practically ran out of the National Library after bawling my eyes out in the toilets and much as I know it's very possible, live in fear that I shall see a rejection email from PSC telling me in big bold words : No Bloody Way.

Hey maybe studying social sciences isn't that conventional or something in the eyes of the older generation but don't, just don't look at me like that when I tell you that I'm studying political science. Don't, just when I'm accepting and being happy about it.

My mum left for Czech Republic today, with a stopover at Frankfurt. Eating at Fish&Co. for dinner was enjoyable where I proceeded to tell her that if she saw security, lots of cute guys in suits, one tall 2m blond guy and a person that looked like David Beckham, she should throw herself at them and demand autographs. Wishful thinking that she might ever meet them but stranger things have happened.

Where art thou, my Stamford Bridge?

If anyone says in London I shall faint.

In Christ alone I place my trust
I find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

I have been singing this song for the past week when I was sick, when I was feeling let down over law, when I was confused about just everything that was happening to me and even now when suddenly my interview got pushed forward by a couple of hours. It never fails to comfort me or be a reminder that everything I have is a result of Your grace.

Everyone has their own set of problems, their own insecurities. It may seem strange that perhaps say, a rich billionaire, or people who live fairytaled lives have problems but I guess no one is without them. So we may be in different circumstances, and I may be somehow to you in a better position in terms of what not but in reality, I think it's just the difference in situations that lead us unable to comprehend or understand a particular person's problem.

So sometimes I feel like dancing in grassy fields and sometimes I think that there's something that will make my life better but isn't there and sometimes that something is just so important that I don't want to smile anymore- for that time being. It's not about being unappreciative because I know for one just how appreciative I am to all that I've been given. It's not the inane human nature of greed that stems from want. It's just that need- to feel complete and safe.

--

Far from me to have a post that seems not as happy so I shall extend this and talk about some other happier stuff. Like Shevchenko coming to Chelsea. Like Ballack coming to Chelsea. Old news now but you're talking about the Ukraine and Germany football captain here! At Chelsea! Dreams that come true! Dance around I say!

There's been something so uncanny and strange unique about 2wisdom that makes me miss them. Or maybe it's the few classic examples of fascinating personalities. I'm sorry I would love to list all of you but I just came from reading Yishu's blog so her apparent words of wisdom are still flowing around my head. First Yishu. Yes, only her would think of all the absolute lame-o stuff to do that's lame yet funny. I know how much chalk you're hiding okay! Plus she loves Angel and Cyclops from Xmen so yay to her! Her blog always makes me laugh because she's so... happy go lucky? Next we have Melo! Melanie really. She's the one making me go around saying "Hawt please, gay please" so if you ask me why I sometimes spell hot as hawt it's her. She wants to take over the world but like how slow please. Wait your turn la girl! -gasp!- To her, a lot of things, including sponges are hawt and the exclamation mark ! makes things so much hotter! Like! I just wanna hug these 2 people and squeeze them to bits! They are THAT cute! Okay fine. Hawt.

There's Claudice with her shoe fetish like mine who I intend to go with for FoP and shoe shopping and clubbing when she comes of age (she's quite cool you know) and ZhiYing with her hair gel candy that one day I swear she'll die from because in her old age she might mistake a real hair gel tube for candy and eat it! And there are others in 2W like Joelle and CherylWong and loads more and that girl called Kaya (it's KahYan) and YuLing and Erica and LiJia and can you see that I'm trying to list all of them so that they don't come after me with an axe saying 'why you never say anything about me!' I tried okay! You've got to know them to see why they are loved. See what I nice form teacher I made.

Onward to watching Chelsea Season Review 04/05 again. Until the 05/06 season arrives with my dear Nat from the UK! Study hard girl I know you can do it. I really miss you. I'm lucky. I have good friends. I won't list them all because you know who you are! (The !!! must come from somewhere happy)

Happy birthday Gladys.

Honestly I'm still recovering from the fever so can't even go for cell. I did go for piano but I tell you the notes were jumping around and I felt dizzy. Help.

On one of the most vital weeks of my life, my body has decided to rebel. Sick once again, all because of 4 tapioca chips smothered in chilli. Last time it was peanut butter cookies. There's just too much heatiness. Of course now I'm suffering from loss of appetite and getting feverish and just wanting to die because what have I done! Really.

If common sense had been my friend, I would have shunned all outings for this week, holed myself up in my room with gruel and water and all activity restricted to my house. No chocolates, no heaty or especially cooling stuff, nothing to make me sick. But no.

Have I ruined my own future? The date of my PSC interview is also conveniently the last date for their interviews, so special arrangements will have to be made for me for a change in date. I feel awful about inconveniencing them but also know that if I tried to go for it tomorrow, my reaction time will be extremely slow and my voice tired and downcast. Do you know that I've never imagined myself to be capable of getting a scholarship? Do you know how much this would mean to me?